Security

I always say that security comes at the expense of freedom. In Maputo you get away with a lot. You can drive like a maniac, use the street as your personal litter bin, setup shop and do business on any street corner you choose, eat and drink and be merry anytime anywhere anyhow, and catch this one… you can even buy pirated DVDs. Can you imagine!?!

But all of this comes with some pretty stringent taxes on your security. There are many precautions that are employed by residences and businesses alike here in Maputo.

Security technique number 1: the security guard. They come in all different uniforms with varying degrees of competence and ability to stay awake at night. Unfortunately these security guards only protect you within a very confined context. They won’t defend against people with guns, or knives, or any other weapon which could hurt you. They can’t guarantee they will be awake when someone tries to burglarize you. They only have two eyes so they can’t see everything. They are proned to leaving their posts to congregate around the hot spot … that is the local checkers game at the guard post down the street. And they definitely are not going to over exert themselves. So if you run they won’t chase you. What they will do is throw a big stone after any stupid kids who disrupt their sleep or checkers game.

Security technique number 2: the “attack dog”. Quite often they are stray dogs that are really just very hungry. They key to diffusing their aggression – food.

Security technique number 3: the electrical fence. I have no idea if these things actually work. But they look daunting enough that I am not going to even think about testing them out.

Security technique number 4: simple locks and deadbolts. The most commonly used and for good reason. They work. My flat for example has two.

Security technique number 5: Don’t ask questions … just run. I tell everyone that the best defence is a strong offense. In other words, if someone tries to attack you, run like you are headed for that goal line. Run Forrest Run!!!!