Book #4 – The Four Agreements

Last week I completed my fourth book, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The four agreements are:

I Be Impeccable with Your Word
II Don’t Take Anything Personally
III Don’t Make Assumptions
IV Always Do Your Best

So I’m sure you are asking yourself what this all means? “Your whole mind is a fog which the Toltecs called a mitote. Your mind is a dream where a thousand people talk at the same time, and nobody understands each other It is the personality’s notion of I am. Everything you believe about yourself and the world, all the concepts and programming you have in your mind, are all the mitote. We cannot see who we truly are; we cannot see that we are not free.” (Ruiz p.16)

Ruiz talks about how we have all accepted agreements with the world. The agreements are the way we understand things to be. The way we interact with other humans, gossip about them, fear what they will think of us, seek out our parents acceptance and pride, everything we think we are. If nothing else, the book forces you to consciously think about WHY you do what you do. It then pushes forward an alternate way of perceiving the world and projecting yourself at the world.

1st Agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word

“Regardless of what language you speak, your intent manifests through the word.” (Ruiz p.26) Can you formulate any meaningful bonds with someone whose words you don’t trust, whose words are not sincere?

Your words have power. That’s right YOUR words (you reading this). The word is a force which causes events in your life. There are countless motivational speakers and self-help books which talk about the power of your words and your energy. Believe in what you say and others will too. There are those that have used their words to brainwash the minds of millions for evil and for good. Use your words wisely.

2nd Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally

“Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.” (Ruiz p.48) If you live your life like this it is truly liberating. Not putting too much stock in what other people do or say would free you of all those fears you have. What will people say? What will people do?

3rd Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions

An old saying springs to mind K-I-S-S. Keep it simple silly. “Because we are afraid to ask for clarification, we make assumptions, and believe we are right about the assumptions; then we defend our assumptions and try to make someone else wrong. It is always better to ask questions than to make an assumption, because assumptions set us up for suffering.” (Ruiz p.64)

“If others tell us something, we make assumptions, and if they don’t tell us something we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate.” (Ruiz p.68) This is where the real danger is, where people choose to rely on their own beliefs and preconceived notions of the world to continue to fill in the gaps in communication. This causes arguments between friends, divorces between spouses, and wars between nations. Let’s talk people!

Recently I have tried to reach out to my loved ones to talk about things that matter. I find we get so caught up in the here and now – the weather, the soccer score, the next day of work – that we lose sight of the important feelings and thoughts that really occupy our minds. Go and “have a coffee” as us Canadians say and really talk with someone you care about. That’s right, you reading this blog, invite someone you care about to the café and talk. The coffee can be substituted for your beverage of choice and the location can be moved to a place you prefer to hang out. But the message is the same….let’s talk people!

4th Agreement: Always Do Your Best

You know, most of these agreements are very intuitive and I can identify with them since they are very similar to lessons I learned as a child: “It’s not about winning, it’s about doing your best.” Your best will vary with the day and your mood and your age, etc etc etc. Just do your best and you will LIVE in the truest sense of the word. “You can live, love, and be happy.” (Ruiz p.78)

http://www.miguelruiz.com/

http://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319